the ending.

So lately I’ve begun to feel at home
The more I find to write about, the less I feel alone

I almost feel a little bit on the weird side writing about this, but this a total Lindsey move right here: I’m still gonna write about it, no matter how strage I feel about it, or how weird it feels to write about something a little personal—no, a lot personal. 

Here’s a reaction to a song that was written just for me courtesy of Kenny Fleetwood (Farewell Fighter). Click read more to view the whole thing. It’s worth your time. 

I’m sure everyone know how this summer went for me: I lived out a dream that sixteen year old me had decided was the ultimate goal (though, I’m more sure of a different goal now). I went out and toured—and in the process, I learned a lot about myself. It’s rehashing everything if I go into every detail—but this summer was accompanied with a lot of ups and a lot of downs.

One the ups was meeting so many new people at Warped. I’m not naturally a very social person. I’m a little bit of an awkward wallflower when left to my own devices. That kind of girl who would rather stare at the ground then look someone dead in the eyes.  So I was really proud of myself for making a few friends during the whole selling process. One of those friends that I made was an insanely talented singer in an insanely good band—Kenny Fleetwood (Farewell Fighter). 

Fast forward to the Christmas season: my wallet is fuller than it had been since the summer (thanks to dreary 40 hour weeks in retail since November), and I was feeling charitable. The spirit of the season took over me making me feel happy and content. I saw a tweet from Kenny selling songs to help fund a trip home for Christmas. It took me a minute to find my credit card and another minute to purchase my very own song from him. I’m always for helping a friend in need, and I’m afraid I’m a vain little girl: I wanted a song written just for me, about me, and no one else’s (unless I chose to share it). Though, when asked about it, I said I donated not really expecting anything. Friends help out when they can. It’s a mantra of mine. 

I’m not going to say what I sent him to write about, or anything really, since I sent him a blog link to one very dinosaur piece you’ve all seen before. It felt entirely weird to share that part of me to someone I didn’t know all that well, let alone someone I met while touring. I usually leave the self confessions for the internet and for friends who have been around for a while. Most of the times I regret letting parts of me out in the open—I have trusted a lot of people in my life and only faced hurt in the wake of it. 

What I got though from this entire ordeal was one of the most perfect songs from beginning to end. A short little jem that at first was entirely awkward hitting “download” and even more weird hitting “play.” It took me about two hours of occasionally staring at the lyrics to tell myself that it wouldn’t be that weird to hear it. 

What blew me away is how utterly spot on this song is. It’s a little uplifting, but more importantly, it has a great message for myself in it. I loved the way he wrote “the ending isn’t just ready to write,” because I feel like for myself at the point in time… well, that line can take on a variety of meanings, and I love it. I’m happy, no ecstatic, that my first song just for me turned out so well. I’m going to enjoy keeping it close to me. 

So in conclusion, take that girls during high school who got awful sloppy songs written about them and would brag about it. I had to wait longer for mine, but it’s truly perfect.

(And Kenny—in the off hand chance you actually read this, you are a marvelous person apart of a great band I’m happy to have gotten to know over the summer. Please know that if you and the boys need anything including but not limited to: staying at my place whenever you need somewhere to crash just an hour away from Minneapolis in Wisconsin. I make a mean crepe, amazing brownies, and have all of the seasons of HIMYM. I can’t wait to see you and your band go on to do some really great things).